Psalm 16, A Miktam of David.
“Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.”
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips.
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
This year the Lord is letting me celebrate fifteen years delivered from homosexuality. All praise and glory to him! It is he who has broken an almost forty-year shackle of addiction. Though set free in Christ when I was called by him at age fourteen, the bondage was stronger than I could ever imagine. It is his story that he allows me to tell that creates the testimony I give.
Though I didn’t walk alone, the past eight years have been rough. While the last years of living in the Greater Lafayette area was coming to a close, I moved jobs within the “to the trade” fabric houses thinking the new employment would utilize my talents best. That didn’t last as long as I thought so I soon became unemployed for several months. I took jobs that seemed well suited for someone in their thirties, but soon realized the physical demands outweighed the prowess I once had in my twenties. Meaning it was harder on my body than I had expected!
Cutting to the chase… my middle brother in Kokomo invited me to move back in with him until something new came along. I agreed and moved back to Kokomo in 2018 with all the worldly belongings I deemed necessary to keep. It wasn’t long before we both came across a posting for a totally different “branch” of employment that I had never encountered nor climbed out onto. This new endeavor was wonderful and exciting. The best part was it gave me people to talk to about Jesus. Something that was encouraged by the other Christians employed there as well as those to whom I ministered. After almost six years the Lord closed that chapter in 2023.
At almost fifty-five I was thrilled with where God was going to move me. I first chose to come along side my friend in Louisiana who had started Overcoming Walls. There I was a Mentor and also wore the hat for Marketing and Networking. An endeavor I still work with today. The Lord as well let me work with those needing vehicle assistance at the local mission. Rewarding is not enough credit to those I was blessed to help. What was next?
At the first of 2024 a brief employment lasting three months only helped monetarily. Yet I soon found myself back at square one. It was through these times of uncertainty that I grew closer to the One who holds my future in certain. Psalm 16 became dearer to me as my Lord and I walked through those months. Remain is what became of that trial. I remember crying out to him for “Preservation”. Being unemployed in your fifties is not beneficial to one’s mental state. Yet I realized that it was my Heavenly Father who gave me everything I have. It was all his so should he choose to remove those belongings from my grasp, I would have to relinquish. They really were not mine to begin with.
“You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” This was my position. It still is to this day. I am not my own since age fourteen. I was bought with a price and thus James Jewell Jr. is no more. It is Christ in me that works for my good and his glory. Just as employment, possessions, and one’s health it is my body and soul that belongs to my Heavenly Father. Should he choose to touch me as he did Job then it is well. As long as I have my Jesus then the world is right. “The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.”
“I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.” Scared? No. Uncertainty? Yes, but looking upward. Shaken? Certainly not! Remember God was in control. Through this rough patch I have had the privilege of leaning ever closer into my Jesus. Just as the Beloved Disciple laid on Christ’s breast at their last Passover meal together, so I was able to lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. The lost and dying are right before our eyes. Oh Lord, may mine be ever more open to what you see for those whom you have died and risen.
“In your presence there is fullness of joy.” Leaning ever more into my Jesus has taught me that joy comes only by living how he wants me to live. It makes sense as it is his plan we must live out. His Holy Spirit guides and directs. Our Heavenly Father watches over us, and it is to him whom we petition daily. Little did I know that he had planned a new employer willing to take me on. It is there that my Heavenly Father also has me using those gifts and talents I had not used in a while yet must be practiced for his glory.
I can say with David, “Indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.” Other translations use the word heritage or tract of land. Either way you read it in the English language it conveys something provided in the future that ensures stability and strength. One’s “tract of land” is an inheritance or a heritage worth maintaining and keeping in the family. It was to remain part of the tribal and family worth. To sell it off or discard it like refuse was unthinkable and detestable to those holding the line together. My inheritance is in Jesus Christ spiritually. But to my family, those who are my siblings, their wives, my nieces, nephews, and now greats, who will inherit the tangible goods God has blessed me with I never want to through away my life as nothing of value will be given to them as a heritage. I would rather have them know me, Uncle Jimmy, as one whom God transformed into a loving brother, brother-in-law, uncle and great-uncle. And should he allow me to see my great greats, then it must be Jesus they see in me. Not Uncle Jimmy.
It is here I remain.
Grace and peace, James
*Scripture reference from ESV, Crossway Publishers, 2001