Today, and for about a week now, it’s been a game of hide and seek. Me hiding. God seeking. God hiding. Me seeking. It’s been this spiritual teeter-totter that is making me feel sick. I didn’t have an appetite for lunch and recently there wasn’t much of one for dinner. I feel as if I’m aware of when things are done in the flesh and then in the Spirit. This constant back and forth. I can say along with David in Psalm 30:7, “By your favor, O LORD, you made my mountain stand strong; you hid your face; I was dismayed.”
I know he is allowing me to see this as I must understand his purpose for this life cannot be of my own accord. Not only to fulfill that purpose but the daily path enroute! Right now, he is training me to trust in him for simple monetary basics. Both lessons at the same time. Yet these lessons must be learned. I only want God’s will so through this we must go. No matter how much my anxiety wants to kick in or my own human knowledge seems to know what’s best.
Lead on, oh Great Jehovah-Jireh, lead on. Even if as I follow, my face is hidden in your bosom as only there I find support. Your promise of never leaving nor forsaking me is truth.
Grace and peace, James
*Scripture from ESV, Crossway Publishing, 2001