December 2007.
It began to crumble like cookies succumbing to a steamroller. I was realizing that the gay relationship with my male partner for almost seven years was spiraling downwards and within a couple years would swiftly come to an end. Love, or the likeness thereof, was no longer evident. I was not flat screened, wide screened, or pixelated enough by any means. Hi-def maybe, but not in the way that brought joy. The home I had created was a facade soon to drop thus exposing both of our hearts and intentions.
I knew going into this sin seven years prior that it would not last. God, via the Holy Spirit had made that very clear. It was a lust of the flesh that was being satisfied, solely and purely. The Spirit wanted no part in this sin. Yet I chose to dive headfirst into it thus dragging him through it. Once in he consistently whispered how to escape. I chose to ignore. The only reason the Holy Spirit gave voice was because at the age of fourteen, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour. I trusted in his payment for my sins and gave my life to him. I was no longer mine own to do as I pleased.
Little to my knowledge I had automatically become an ambassador. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” A new what? Yep, a new creature. I had given my soul to Christ but had chosen to keep my life for myself. I refused to accept the fact I was a new creature and automatically had become an ambassador of Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:20 & 21, “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” See I had enlisted as an ambassador whether I liked it or not. That’s why it, the fleshly relationship, was crumbling. God was tired of his ambassador serving the prince of this Earth, Satan. Jesus Christ didn’t leave Heaven, be born into this world, live a perfect and sinless life, minister for three years, die on the cross for my sins, and then rise from the grave only so that I could be redeemed thus to continue in my sin. It wasn’t going to happen.
So, back to December 2007. The beginning of the end? No, the beginning of my reconciliation to God, and the start of my fulfillment as an ambassador.
Grace and peace, James
*Scripture from ESV, Crossway Publishing, 2001